The Woman

The depth of this pain seems to have no end;
it's so hard to go through life without my best friend.

The woman who carried me for nine months and brought me into this world
and who nurtured me and into whose arms I curled.
The woman who taught me how to read and write
and would tucked me in to say goodnight.
The woman who encouraged me to do my best
and always quizzed me for that spelling test.
The woman who wanted me to have big dreams
and signed me up for all of those rec sports teams.

The woman who survived a terrible disease
and taught me that in this life there are no guarantees.
The woman who helped push me to get a job
and who would sit with me for hours as I sob.
The woman who had to grab the steering wheel when I was learning to drive
so that the neighborhood mailboxes would survive.

The woman who made the most intentional gifts
and was always shopping for those clearance store thrifts.
The woman who always rearranged the living room
and who taught me how to use a broom.
The woman who was sad that I had to leave for school
but knew that I would be back for the summer to sit by the pool.
The woman who bought me groceries when I couldn't
and listened to me when everyone else wouldn't.
The woman who called late one night
to say she had to get ready for another fight.

The woman whose hospital bed I sat on like a small child
and who looked at me through tears and smiled.
The woman who prayed with me
and who wished to be cancer-free.
The woman who was willing to fight
but her lungs were too tight.
The woman who joked and laughed and tried to have fun,
even as she knew it was the end of her run.
The woman who comforted me in each wail
and even when she couldn't, reminded me to exhale.
The woman whose hand I held that last night,
and who would never again see the summer light.

The woman whose habits I have acquired
and whose life has left me inspired.
The woman who I remember every time I look in the mirror
and whose memory I never want to disappear.
The woman who helped me become who I am today
and whose absence will never be okay.

The woman who would not want me to be so sad
and would remind me of the memories we had
The woman who would say that it happened for a reason
and would remind me that this is a new season.
The woman who would want me to press on
and see the hope in the coming dawn.

"Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:5b